Discerning Woman

When I was young, I would sneak out of bed and watch Charlie’s Angels. I had a Charlie’s Angels lunchbox and the board game (still have it). My best friend and I pretended to be the Angels and solve mysteries around our neighborhood. My favorite Angel was Kelly Garrett played by Jaclyn Smith. I thought she was beautiful, smart, and strong. I wanted to be like her.

Throughout our lives, we all have people we look up to or want to emulate. There are many women from the Bible that we aspire to be like. Ruth and Esther are common favorites. Jael exudes courage that I lack (Judges 4 and 5). The Proverbs 31 women is well-rounded in her gifts and abilities. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet listening to Him speak. But there is one woman in the Bible that I have not heard talked about much – Abigail the wife of Nabal.

Recently I read through 1 Samuel 25 and the account of David, Nabal, and Abigail. I realized that Abigail exhibited many godly qualities. The chapter is too long to include here but take a few minutes to read 1 Samuel 25.

Although there are several aspects to this account, I want to focus on Abigail. Do you remember how she was first described?

Now the name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. The woman was discerning and beautiful, but the man was harsh and badly behaved; he was a Calebite.

1 Samuel 25:3

Abigail was discerning, and we will see how that is evidenced in the rest of the account. But first, what does it mean to be discerning? “The word discern and its derivatives are translations of the Greek word anakrino in the New Testament. It means ‘to distinguish, to separate out by diligent search, to examine.’ Discernment is the ability to properly discriminate or make determinations. It is related to wisdom.”[1] The Hebrew word in 1 Samuel 25:3 is śēkel and relates to prudence, insight, and understanding.

Every day I need discernment. I need wisdom, prudence, insight, and understanding on varying levels for different circumstances. I imagine Abigail was no different, but on one particular day, she needed more discernment than on most days. To recap the account in 1 Samuel 25, David protected Nabal’s men while they were in the fields with the sheep (vs 15-16). Later, David sent some of his men to Nabal to politely request food for himself and his men. Nabal refused to give them anything. His own men described him as railing against David’s men. When David is informed of Nabal’s response, he set out with four hundred of his men to attack Nabal.

One of Nabal’s men reported what he knew to Abigail. This in itself reveals the quality of Abigail’s character. This employee did not report to Nabal. He knew Nabal to be a worthless man and unwilling to listen (vs 17) as well as angry (vs 14), harsh, and badly behaved (vs 3). Instead, he went to Abigail for help in this quickly escalating situation. Given Nabal’s demeanor, Abigail as his wife may have already had ample opportunities for diffusing explosive situations and wielding discernment.

Abigail didn’t waste any time. She gathered food and drink for David and his men. She sent some of her men to go before and prepare the way with David. Then she followed. I can’t help but wonder if my first thought would have been to flee from David’s men and let David kill my husband. I can’t imagine with the description of Nabal that he treated Abigail very well, but Abigail seeks peace and protects her husband and his household.

When Abigail saw David, she got off her donkey and immediately fell humbly before him (vs 23). She even took the guilt for the situation on herself (vs 24) although it was clearly Nabal who sinned against David and others. Next, she made her plea but not in the way we might think. She didn’t beg David not to attack. She directed David again and again to God’s hand in his life, God’s provision, and God restraining David from attack. She concludes with,

And when the Lord has done to my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you and has appointed you prince over Israel, my lord shall have no cause of grief or pangs of conscience for having shed blood without cause or for my lord taking vengeance himself.

1 Samuel 25:30-31a

Abigail is an example of the kind of friend we all need in our lives. She directed David to God and gently confronted the sin he was about to commit. She didn’t accuse David, but like 1 Corinthians 13 commands us to do, she believed the best about David, that he would do what was right and not take vengeance into his own hands but leave it to God. Abigail may have been wise and discerning in the running of her household, but here we see her spiritual wisdom and discernment. She was discerning in her choice of words to David as well as her posture and demeanor. She demonstrated insight and understanding of the situation.

The result? David was convicted. He was grateful to Abigail for intervening and blessed her. He received the food and drink from Abigail and left vengeance to God. David and Abigail parted ways, but God was not done working in this circumstance. While Nabal was partying and getting drunk, God struck Nabal dead (vs 38). David then took Abigail as his wife.

We can look to Abigail as an example of a wise and discerning woman, a peacemaker, a humble servant, and a generous and kind neighbor, but she is just a reflection of Someone greater. Jesus humbled Himself in leaving the glory of heaven and taking on flesh, suffering, and dying in our place for our sin. He brought ultimate peace between us and God by His atoning sacrifice. He is generous, kind, and merciful in saving us who were once sinners and enemies of God. He has forgiven our sin and given us His perfect record of righteousness.

Reflection

1. What is a current situation in which you need discernment?

2. True wisdom and discernment come from God alone and His Word. Below are just a few verses speaking to this. Spend time meditating on them. Make some of them into a prayer.

“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17

“I am Your servant; give me understanding, that I may know Your testimonies.” Psalm 119:125

“Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

“I have stored up Your word in my heart, that I might not sin against You.” Psalm 119:11

“I will meditate on Your precepts and fix my eyes on Your ways. I will delight in Your statues; I will not forget Your Word.” Psalm 119:15-16

“Give me understanding, that I may keep Your law and observe it with my whole heart.” Psalm 119:34

“My son, do not lose sight of these – keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble.” Proverbs 3:20-23

“The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.” Proverbs 4:7

“that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God’s mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” Colossians 2:2-3

[1] “What Does the Bible Say About Discernment?” Got Questions, https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-discernment.html