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You may be thinking I’m a bit early for a devotion on love since Valentine’s Day is almost a month and a half away, but another heartbreaking situation came to my attention today. It reminded me that I often have amnesia when it comes to how God calls us to love others. We are bombarded by the world with what love is and what love isn’t. I think most of what the world says about love is a far cry from God’s definition of love, and sadly, myself included, we tend to follow after the world’s definition and not God’s.
1 John 4:7-21 tells us that God is love. It also explains that if we don’t love others, we don’t know and love God. John further commands that if we love God, we must also love others. Got it! Love God. Love others. The problem is that definition of love. 1 Corinthians may be a familiar passage to you, but I’d like to go through it today. Please don’t stop reading because you know 1 Corinthians 13 by memory or have heard it a thousand times. I was familiar with it too, but a few years ago I went through Katie Orr’s devotional “Everyday Love.” It was a fresh conviction that I needed.
Paul was writing to the Corinthian church which was pretty messed up to say the least. Personally, I’m thankful for the example. Too often we have the idea that churches are for people who have it together. The Corinthian church definitely did not, and in reality, no church does. How can they? The church is made up of sinners. Some are just better at hiding that fact (not a good thing). Not only was the Corinthian church participating in all kinds of unrepentant sin and living self-centeredly, but they were still spiritual infants. They needed to grow.
In chapter 12, Paul has explained spiritual gifts in the church and that the church is many members but one body. Spiritual gifts are for edifying the body not for self-promotion. Each member in the body is to support and work with the rest of the body. How do we do that? By loving each other according to God’s definition of what love is and isn’t. Katie Orr sums it up, “When I ‘serve’ out of a desire to be significant and influential, I do the exact opposite of what I was created to do.” Everyday Love
Paul didn’t write 1 Corinthians 13, so we could have a checklist for measuring how well others are loving us. Actually, I have to remember it is not a checklist at all. It is a lifestyle God calls us to live. Jesus was and is the ultimate example of this self-sacrificial, servant love. Let’s see what love is and isn’t according to the only One who matters.
Love is:
Patient – Bearing the offenses and injuries of others; does not lose heart. Chooses mercy over avenging.
Kind – Acting benevolently or charitable. Desiring to help others.
Love isn’t:
Arrogant – Prideful. Self-focused. Instead, love looks to the needs of others.
Rude – To act unbecomingly, vile or indecent. Instead, love has good manners, is kind.
Irritable – Provoked, aroused to anger or exasperated. In contrast, God is slow to anger and abounding in love (Psalm 103:8). Example: Moses was irritated with the complaining Israelites and didn’t follow God’s directions in speaking to the rock. He struck it instead and was kept from entering the Promised Land (Numbers 20:2-11).
Resentful – Literally this means “love does not store up the memory of any wrong it has received.” Instead, love puts away past hurts instead of clinging to them.
Love Does:
Rejoice with the truth – Gratefulness when the Gospel triumphs, when others are growing in sanctification.
Bear all things – Also translated covers all things. Love can cover a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). It doesn’t broadcast the sins of others.
Believe all things – Choosing to believe the best about others unless actual facts say otherwise. Not jumping to conclusions.
Hope all things – Love can hope for the best because our hope is in God.
Endure all things – Love doesn’t give up. It continues to bear, believe and hope.
Love Does Not:
Envy – Being jealous when someone else gets recognition or is blessed in some way. Instead love prefers that others are blessed above self. Bad examples: Cain was envious of his brother Abel and killed him or Joseph’s brothers who were envious of him and sold him into slavery.
Boast – Claiming self-honor, power and respect without justification. Lacking humility.
Insist on its own way – Self-focused not other-focused. Instead, love in honor gives preference to one another (Romans 12:10) and looks not only to his own interests, but also the interests of others (Philippians 2:4).
Rejoice at wrongs – Delighting that wrong is done to someone including doing that wrong yourself. Delighting in others’ sins, faults and failures. Instead, love wants the best for others. It grieves at the wrong. Instead, love rejoices with the truth.
End – Other things like the spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 12 will pass away, but love is eternal. We should invest in that which is eternal.
As I think of the many teens I work with, I want them to love the way God calls them to, but I also want them to be discerning as they consider a future spouse. If there isn’t growing evidence of God’s kind of love in you or the other person, you should probably think twice about the relationship.
For everyone, I would encourage you to look back over the definitions of God’s love. What evidence of love would those in your church see? What would unbelievers see? What of the “love isn’t” or “love does not” do others see? I have been especially convicted that love believes all things. I tend to jump to the worst conclusion about someone else instead of choosing to believe the best. I am thankful that Jesus loved every person, every time perfectly in my place. I do fail and will fail again in my love, but there is grace, forgiveness and Jesus’ perfect record of loving imputed to me and to you too!
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