Search Me, O God

As I was researching Psalm 139 to write on verses 23 and 24 this week, I was again reminded of the richness is this whole Psalm. There is so much to say and teach about it, but, since I try to keep to a 5 minute or less read, I am focusing on the two verses that recently stood out to me.

Search me, O God, and know my heart!

Try me and know my thoughts!

And see if there be any grievous way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting!

Psalm 139:23-24

One of our deepest longings can be for someone to know us truly, madly, deeply (as expressed by Savage Garden in their 1997 song by that name). It can also be one of the most terrifying things for us. If someone really knew all that went on in our hearts and minds, they’d probably leave us in a heartbeat. Yet, here in Psalm 139, David is asking for God to search (examine) him, know his heart, try him, know his thoughts and specifically to see if there is any grievous way in him. (Note: grievous can be translated as wicked and is derived from a word meaning idol.)

Yikes! Not many of us want to undergo that kind of thorough scrutiny. Sometimes we may ask for some “constructive” criticism, but we aren’t usually looking for every teeny tiny fault to be exposed. Certainly not anything major. We want to hear some minor things that don’t hurt and then have those topped off with compliments.

One of the things I find interesting in David’s request is that he has already acknowledged that God knows everything about him (vs 1). He recognizes that God knows his thoughts (vs 2). David gives details of God’s knowledge of him in verses 3-16. But in verses 23 and 24, David is asking for an even more intimate knowledge. A penetrating knowledge of his very heart and deeper into his thoughts.

I hadn’t thought much about what this request entailed until reading Mark Futato’s Cornerstone Commentary on Psalms. He said David’s petition required humility and teachability. The thought crossed my mind that it could also come from extreme arrogance. However, pride would soon be squelched under God’s thorough examination.

Jeremiah 17:9 reveals to us that “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Jesus taught in Matthew 7:3-5 that our own sin is like a huge log in our eye that we are completely oblivious to. That may seem ridiculous, but the truth is that we don’t even truly know ourselves. God is the only one that knows us completely. Jesus wouldn’t have used such an extreme example if that wasn’t the extreme truth.

We need God’s Word and His Spirit to make visible to us the logs in our own eye. We need the Word and the Spirit to bring those darkest parts in our thoughts and hearts to light. We need the Spirit’s conviction that even all the “little” sins, that we want to dismiss or half-heartedly confess because they aren’t as bad as the sins of that other person, are heinous before a holy God. (I recommend Jerry Bridge’s book, Respectable Sins.)

David desired an intimate relationship with God (vs 17). He knew that wasn’t possible if there was unconfessed sin breaking that fellowship. He was willing to approach God humbly, willing to be shown his sin, willing to be taught and led in the way everlasting.

I don’t think this applies to just me, but I know as someone who likes to study and teach God’s Word, there is a constant danger of becoming prideful and unteachable. In many ways, as I study and teach, God’s Word convicts me. At the same time, I still need to be on guard. I need to be aware of temptations to spiritual pride and blindness to sin. I need to be like David and daily be asking God to search me, know my heart, try me, know my thoughts and see if there be any grievous way in me.

I know that may still seem scary. I confess that it feels like I am going the wrong way in this sanctification process. I feel like more of a sinner now than I was 10, 20, 30, 40 years ago. I believe that is actually God’s grace and mercy towards me and you as He searches our hearts and shows us our grievous ways. As we know more of Him and His Word, we can see sin more clearly.

This is why I am so thankful for the Gospel. It would be easy for us to get discouraged as our grievous ways are revealed, but God has promised that NOTHING can separate believers from His love that is in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:31-39). There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1). Even as God brings all those deep, dark, grievous things to light, He sees us with Jesus’ righteousness imputed to us (2 Corinthians 5:21).

Let that sink in. We have nothing to fear in asking God to search our hearts. He already knows them completely, perfectly, and He still loves us and looks on us as if we had never sinned and had always obeyed. What an amazing Father and Savior we have! As if that wasn’t enough, God promises to complete the work He has begun in us, so we will be transformed more and more to the image of Jesus until we are glorified in heaven, never to sin again.

I don’t want to mislead you. Although we have nothing to fear in asking God to search our hearts, it can still hurt when God reveals sin in our life. It isn’t easy to accept all the ways we still sin. We want to look good. We can struggle with fear of man – what others will think of us if they find out – or discouragement. We can compare ourselves to others, blame shift, defend or deny the sin that is revealed. That is why we need to ask God to keep us humble and teachable and to remind us of truth: we are all sinners (Romans 3:23), we are unconditionally, eternally loved, we have Jesus’ righteousness and there is no one who can condemn us.

Reflection

1. What is keeping you from asking God to search your heart?

2. What specific areas of sin do you need to guard against that God has revealed to you? What steps can you take to guard against the temptations to sin, being thankful that there is no temptation that God will not provide a way of escape for you to endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13).

3. Do you need to pray about remaining humble and teachable? Where have you not been teachable? Ask God for forgiveness.

4. What truths do you need to remind yourself of, so you are not afraid or hindered by pride in asking God to search your heart?