Waiting

Although we have many things instantly available with all our modern technology, much of life is still about waiting. Kids wait for the school bell to ring for the end of day and adults wait for the clock to hit five, so they can leave work. We wait for test results. We wait at stoplights. We wait in the dentist office or in a checkout line at the grocery store. We wait at restaurants even fast-food restaurants. We wait for our vacation. We wait for our wedding day or a new baby to arrive. We wait for 2020 to be over as if all will return to “normal” on January 1, 2021.

Some things are worth waiting for like a good food. Today I made pumpkin scones. I’m not a huge pumpkin person, but I do enjoy pumpkin scones. Part way through their bake time, the smell begins to waft out of the oven – the delightful blend of pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and ginger. The timer dings. The scones are done in the oven, but they need to cool. I could just chomp a bite, but if I wait, the powdered sugar drizzle mixed with the same spices will finish the scones. And they are SO much better with the drizzle. Pumpkin scones are worth waiting for.

Other things we dread their arrival, so we want to wait as long as possible (for me that is going to the dentist). We may even do things to delay the event and lengthen the waiting. In general, I am not a procrastinator, but when it came to homework or school projects, I waited until the last possible minute. In high school literature class, we were supposed to do a book report each quarter. I didn’t want to waste time doing four reports. I asked my teacher if I could do one report on the complete works of Shakespeare due at the end of the fourth quarter. He agreed. I waited three quarters and all but a few days of the fourth quarter before I started reading. I have always loved reading and writing but doing book reports was something in my teenage mind that could wait.

As I thought about waiting, I remembered the story of Saul in 1 Samuel 13:8-14. Saul had been king of Israel for about two years. He gathered three thousand men for his army. His son Jonathan defeated a Philistine garrison with one thousand from the army. This angered the Philistines, and they brought thirty thousand chariots and six thousand horsemen and troops to attack Israel. Yikes!

The Israelites were scared. They hid anywhere they could find a hole. Saul had been told by the prophet Samuel to wait seven days for him to arrive and make a burnt offering and peace offerings. He waited, but the people began to scatter. Saul was tired of waiting and probably getting scared himself as well as fearing losing his people’s allegiance, so he made the offerings without Samuel. Just as he finished, Samuel arrived. As a result of not obeying God and waiting as he was instructed, Saul was told the kingdom would be given to another. As we read elsewhere in Scripture, God wanted Saul’s obedience, his heart, his trust not the actual burnt and peace offerings.

I wait well for pumpkin scones. I even wait well for medical test results, but like Saul, I have been struggling with waiting in another area. I’ve had to stop and search my heart. Saul’s sin issue was fear of man over fear of God. What is mine?

First, let me tell you my situation. A year ago, I finished writing my second devotional book, Journey Through Colossians. I waited as people edited it for me. I waited for the endorsements. I waited for the cover design. I expected to wait for these things, and I am grateful for the friends who helped me with this because it improved my book. It wase worth the wait. While waiting, I was able to get my website going including the weekly devotional blogs, I got things ready for my book launch team, I started writing Journey Through Prayer.

Finally, everything was ready to send to the publisher. With my first book, I received proofs for my book in exactly three weeks. Corrections were made within a couple days and the Ebook version was available for people to buy and download. Printed copies were available for preorder to be delivered in six weeks. Easy peasy process.

It has been two and half months since I sent Journey Through Colossians to the publisher. It seems that with COVID and more people stuck at home, twice as many people have been writing and self-publishing. My publisher is overloaded without the staff. At first, I was ok that it might take a week or two longer. I even adjusted my book launch team timing.

I waited. Then I waited longer. Nothing. I called the publisher. I got someone less than sympathetic to my distress. At last I got the printed book proofs. They were wrong. I sent corrections. A week later I got the approved version. I waited a week or more for Ebook proofs. They were wrong. I sent the corrections. Another publisher person, who is probably overloaded, pulled the printed book from production because I had corrections on the Ebook even though they were unrelated. It took a week and a half to get it back in production. She then forgot to give my Ebook corrections to the Ebook people, so another week was lost. At this writing, I still don’t have final proofs for the Ebook which means no Ebook available yet. No pre-ordering available, and my launch team has already completed their launching.

I give you all those details because at each additional waiting period, my irritation and frustration grew. Some of you may think I am justified in being frustrated and irritated, and maybe there is justification for frustration, but I knew I needed a heart check. I was NOT waiting well.

I haven’t exploded on the publishing people, but in my heart I’ve been angry. We like to water down anger by calling it other things like frustration or irritation, but the Bible calls all of it sin except the purely righteous kind and mine was not that.

Maybe you have a situation that you can parallel with mine. What is your reaction to waiting? What are motives behind your reactions to waiting? For me, I had my timeline. Based on previous experience with the publisher and the dates the publisher originally gave me, I thought I knew when my book would be ready. So, the first heart issue has to do with feeling inconvenienced. I wanted my way to rule the timeline, and it didn’t.

Second, I was feeling foolish. I recruited my book launch team and had weekly assignments for them for the five weeks leading up to the book being available. The five weeks is long gone and no book to even pre-order. There’s my fear of man. My launch team will think I’m an idiot.

Third, I was lacking compassion for those working at the publishing company. They were expecting things to slow down with COVID, and instead their business doubled. I have been given a great opportunity for showing grace, and that has not been my response. I have been thinking of myself and not others (Philippians 2:3-8).

Fourth, and this is really the one that the previous three flow out of, I functionally forgot God. When it comes to my health issues, God has lavished me with grace to trust Him, His sovereignty, His faithfulness, His goodness and His love. I am not anxious. The waiting for answers is not troublesome. However, with waiting for my book, everything that I know to be true about God and His character seems to have left my brain. How does that look?

I know that God has all wisdom and knowledge, but my responses haven’t reflected that. Because God is omniscient, He knows the perfect timing for my book to be released. He knows the people who will read it and when they need to read it. He knows the people at the publishing company that are working on it. Maybe something they are formatting is what God will catch their heart with. Make them pause in their work to think about that verse. God knows every detail about my book. Things that I may never know. Do I trust His wisdom, knowledge and timing?

I know that God is sovereign. What I see as book delays or COVID or miscommunication are all under God’s loving, wise, sovereign control. He has a plan for my book. He has always had a plan for it. He is omnipotent, so there is nothing that can thwart His plan for my book. I’m a little slow to the game, but part of God’s good plan is conforming me to the image of Jesus in this waiting process. God is always purposeful. The waiting isn’t wasted. The waiting is for refining us and bringing God glory.

I’m working on a new plan that is aligned with God's plan. It revolves around Philippians 4:4-9. To wait well, I will:

1. Rejoice – And rejoice again and again. God is good. He is working. He is doing good things. Specifically, with my book, He has already brought it this far. He is already using it. He doesn’t need the actual Ebook or a printed copy to accomplish His purposes.

2. Let my reasonableness be known – I can be intentional in encouraging those I am working with at the publishing company. I can put off irritation, frustration and anger and put on kindness and compassion.

3. Pray – When the waiting is getting hard (or even when it isn’t), I can run to God. I can talk to Him. I can give the situation to Him with thanksgiving knowing that He is sovereign, faithful, loving, good, wise and everything else that He is.

4. Think on the right things – I don’t have to focus on what is going wrong or what is frustrating me. I can choose to think on what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent and worthy of praise. I can meditate on what is pleasing to God, brings Him glory and loves my neighbor.

Just like God wanted Saul’s obedience, He wants mine out of gratitude and love for Him. As I obey in the above four things, Philippians 4:7 says that the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. That means I will wait well. I will wait in peace. I will wait with joy, thanksgiving and expectancy. I will wait, trusting my Heavenly Father who is faithful to His promises.

How are you waiting?