Words 2

Words. We speak them. We write them. We use words every day in a variety of ways. The past couple weeks I’ve been pondering my words. I’ve thought of careless words spoken without thinking first, words that God used to encourage someone and the words I write each week particularly in this blog, my books and written prayers. Many weeks I question whether I should be writing anything as I struggle myself with sin, wrong motivations or other’s criticism. Sunday I heard a sermon about words based on Proverbs 15:1-33. During the sermon, the verses that came to mind and gave me the idea for this devotion were Psalm 19:14 and Ephesians 4:29.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 4:29

Although I am an introvert, I have lots of opinions. In conversations, I want to jump in. I often try to have the last word to make sure that I was really heard. About two years ago, there was something that made me realize how that was hurtful to my husband. I wasn’t really listening to him. I wasn’t recognizing that his thoughts, feelings, opinions and knowledge had value too even if they were different from mine. I don’t remember the specific conversation, but I do remember seeing him shut down as I pushed my point of view. I didn’t like it. My use of words was hurtful. They made him feel like he didn’t matter. I don’t remember what my tone was. It may or may not have been loving. What I said may or may not have been right. Regardless, pushing my words, getting the last word in most assuredly did not build up, did not fit the occasion, did not give grace and was not acceptable to God.

Why? Psalm 19:14 gets to the root of our words. The psalmist David asked not only that the words of his mouth, but the meditations of his heart would be acceptable to God. Our words start in our hearts. Jesus addressed this when He said, “for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).

Both in my spoken words and written words, I need to pause. I need to pray. I need to think about what is going on in my heart. Since I started writing again, I feel like there is a constant motivation battle in my heart. Yes, I love sharing God’s truth. I love helping others understand and apply it. I want to glorify God, but I also know there is a fear-of-man motivation. What will people think of my knowledge? Of my writing style? Will I get comments or likes? Will it lead to bigger opportunities? Fear of man is tied to pride, wanting recognition.

If I pause and pray before I write and speak, I can ask that God would give me the desire to humbly think of others’ interest not just my own (Philippians 2:4). Even if I have something true to say, it needs to be said in love, in the right tone, the right words and the right time (as fits the occasion). And let’s face it, that is assuming that I (or you) have the true or right thing to say in the first place. I know for me this isn’t always the case.

Several years ago, one of our youth group girls asked to go to lunch with me. She had some ideas for youth group that she wanted to share. Almost all of her ideas were good, but there were one or two things she said that I knew from my years as a youth leader were not practical. That is what I focused on and shared my vast “wisdom.” First, I don’t think I prayed before meeting with her. That would’ve been the best approach. Second, I didn’t consider that sharing her ideas to make youth group better with me as a youth leader and her as a teen was probably hard for her, intimidating. Third, I didn’t really listen to her. I was already formulating my responses. Fourth, I didn’t consider what was going on in my own heart before speaking. I was out to defend my honor as a great youth leader. Our sweet youth group girl went home and cried.

I am thankful that we talked again, and I asked for forgiveness. We went on to incorporate most of her ideas into youth group, and the year was better because of it. If I had been thinking of her interests, I would’ve fully listened to her. I would’ve focused on the good ideas she had and encouraged them. I would’ve thanked her for having the courage to talk to me. I would’ve let the one or two impractical things go completely. Contradicting them wasn’t necessary, it didn’t build her up in fact it tore her down, and it didn’t impart grace to her. All because I felt like she was criticizing me as a leader which wasn’t true. The meditations in our hearts matter.

As I was considering this idea of words, I also thought about Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” If these are the meditations in our hearts, what we are thinking on, just imagine what the words of our mouths would be! We need to cultivate in our minds and hearts the things that will glorify God and build others up.

For me, part of this has meant focusing on certain Scriptures. I wrote out a couple verses from Proverbs about a wise man who listens to instruction. I don’t want to be the foolish man. I have reminded myself that I should be quick to hear and slow to speak (James 1:19). As I do this, I’m finding that many times, what I had to say doesn’t even need to be said. It also allows others to build up and impart grace not just me. I am trying to pray before specific interactions with people or during if it is a conversation where I feel myself getting defensive. Recalling that each conversation or time I write is an opportunity I need to make the most of (Ephesians 5:16), so that I do glorify God, build the other person up and impart grace. The past year and a half I have spent more of my prayer time in confession using different books of confessions and prayers by Puritans. Confession confronts me with my own sin and need for the grace of the Gospel.

I am still far from letting no corrupting talk come from my mouth. I am grateful that God is still sanctifying me as He is you (Philippians 1:6), and that for those in Christ, He has given us Jesus’ perfect record of words. It is hard for me to imagine never letting a corrupting word come out of my mouth, but Jesus never had one wrong meditation in His heart. He never said even a single corrupting word. Every word He spoke built up the hearers, was fitting for the occasion, imparted grace and was completely acceptable to the Father. I don’t know what your words were today - maybe you yelled at the kids, criticized your spouse, complained about a co-worker or teased a friend. Whatever your corrupting words were, God sees you right now with Jesus’ flawless record of words. God’s words to you are: my child, loved, holy, blameless, above reproach (Colossians 1:22).

Reflections

1. Think about some of your recent words (this can include social media). What was the meditation in your heart in writing or speaking those words?

2. How were they either corrupt (rotten, putrefied, unfit, worthless, bad) or good for building up, fitting, imparting grace and acceptable to God? If they were corrupt, ask God’s forgiveness and then go ask the person you spoke them to for forgiveness.

3. What is one step you can start implementing this week to change the meditation in your heart – confession, specific Scripture to memorize, praying before your words, being purposeful to listen to the other person, etc.? When that one step has become a habit, take another step.